Letting Go
by ChetCheerio
Summary: It's been a year. Fang visits her grave whenever he can. The others have moved on; will he be ever able to? Implied Fax. Oneshot


**Okay, so I was in a depressed mood the other day and I started writing this. The poem at the end is an original poem I wrote, so please respect it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride. But I won't stop trying to buy it.**

It's been a year since you died. A year since you went down in the glory of battle, a year since I held your dying body in my arms as you whispered your last words. I can remember them clearly; I remember you saying that you loved me. And then you were gone.

I've visited your grave whenever I can. I've laid flowers on the flat granite stone every time I do.

I look up at the sky. Gray thunderheads roll menacingly overhead, lightning flashing once in a while. I'm at your grave now, standing and looking down at the headstone. "Max," I whisper. "I'm so lost without you."

I can feel you beside me; your spirit is so familiar. I can imagine your hand in mine, your smile as we stand in companionable silence. Death must be so peaceful; you're away from the running and the fighting.

The Flock is gone now. Everyone else has forgotten you; they've moved away and started their own families and lives. But not me. I carry on a nomadic legacy in your memory, never staying in one place for long, always on the move. Like we used to be, together.

I don't know. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I think it's a way to keep you alive.

Angel is a proud mom-to-be. Gazzy just got married after graduating from college. Iggy and Nudge have tied the knot, but I haven't even tried to get involved with a relationship. It's just too painful. Girls watch me when I walk by, but I can't find the spirit to start a relationship. And I can't even blame it on teenage hormones anymore; after all, being in my twenties means I don't get the same urges I did when I was a teen. But when I was a teen, I had you. You kept away the nightmares of reality, making me feel complete and like nothing could happen to me.

I've always loved you. I'll never forget you. The others have tried to get me to move on, but I can't. I just can't because it feels like I'll loose you forever if I do. Is this what losing a soul mate feels like? I think you were my soul mate, Max. That's why we were made together; neither of us ever would've made it without the other. And that's why I can't make it without you.

My fists begin to shake with anger as I stare down at your grave. The whitecoats did this to us; they tore you away from me, they tore the Flock apart. Even today, they still chase me. At least they have enough decency to leave the others alone, and let them get on with their lives.

Even now, as I hear the buzz of Flyboys in the distance, I'm not afraid. As I leap up into the air, ready to fight, I can feel you beside me; I can see your wild blonde hair and determined brown eyes. You amazed me in life because of your strong spirit, and you amaze me just as much in death.

As I fly at the cloud of Flyboys that have come to kill me, I think of only one thing. If I die in this battle, I won't regret it. The others will miss me, but I think they'll be glad that I finally got to be with you again.

I barely fight back as the Flyboys pummel me. My bones break under their blows, but I don't care. All I can think about it seeing you.

Suddenly, you're there, urging me to fight back, to stay alive. I can't; my spirit is slipping away. You call my name as I fall to the ground, and my wings unfurl seemingly of their own accord. I begin to fight back with every ounce of strength I have in my bones, and finally the last one is dead.

I keep flying south, and as I coast on the warm currents I see you out of the corner of my eye. You're laughing; talking about what a great fight that was, just like old times. Your blonde hair is whipping everywhere, and your freckles are prominent against your skin. You look so beautiful that it takes my breath away.

We coast on the currents together, and I know that your spirit was always there with me, and always will be. Maybe, with your guidance, I'll be able to forgive myself for letting you die, for not being strong enough to save you. Maybe, one day, I'll be able to let go.

_As we soar among the clouds  
__I think about you as I watch you  
__Your heart has always been strong  
__Unafraid of expressing thoughts  
__Unlike mine_

_No longer do I care what the others think  
__Love is nothing to be ashamed of  
__Or to keep hidden  
__Emotion is not something to be locked up  
__Where the world can never see it  
__You've taught me this lesson_

_When we land I walk to the edge of a glistening lake  
__I hear you follow me, and soon you're there  
__You talk to me in a hushed tone  
__The stars twinkle above, as if to encourage me  
__And when you pause to take a breath, I lean in and kiss you_

_Your lips are soft under mine  
__At first, I'm afraid of rejection  
__But then your hands entangle in my hair  
__And your eyes shut  
__You're accepting, no, embracing my love  
__And you're returning it_

_I don't know how long we kissed  
__It felt like hours under the night sky  
__Finally we broke apart  
__And for the first time in a long time  
__I smiled_

_For you are the sun on a rainy day  
__The light in the darkness  
__My soul mate if nothing else  
__My stone, my constant companion  
__You are the one thing I depend on  
__You are like a drug that keeps me alive  
__I can't ever loose you  
__I don't think my heart could bear it_


End file.
